While growing up in my country, I noticed that the majority of men did not know how to cook or even hold a cooking spoon. I used to think that this was a religious thing. However, upon coming to Southeast Malawi, I discovered that men here are involved in household chores such as cooking, washing the dishes, and doing laundry. They provide support to their mothers, sisters, or wives. What surprised me was that many of these men are Christians, just like some in Senegal, and others are Muslims like myself. This made me wonder about the difference in attitudes towards gender roles and domestic responsibilities across different cultures and religions.

As a way to comprehend the different dynamics surrounding gender roles in my community, I began to conduct research, ask questions, and observe. To my surprise, I discovered that the majority of men in my community are skilled in cooking, sweeping, and doing housework. In Malawian culture, it is typically the woman’s responsibility to take care of her husband; however, men help their partners out of love. One man told me, “Even if people laugh at me for cooking, I will always assist my wife because it is a great sign of love.”

My neighbor, who is a nurse and lives in Lilongwe, the capital of Malawi, told me that there’s nothing wrong with a man doing household chores, especially when living alone. This made me think of my fellow Exchange Volunteer from Senegal, who has been enjoying cooking for himself while working with the community. However, I discovered that in the northern part of Malawi, men do not typically help with house chores because it’s part of their culture. 

When I talked to my father about this, he told me that what I saw in the eastern part of Malawi might be a cultural thing. He then fondly recalled how his father used to serve Touba Coffee and meals for the whole family. It’s all about culture; some people choose not to do it, while others do it as a sign of respect.

I was thinking about the importance of training young boys from an early age. Parents should allow their sons to be independent and take care of themselves even when they are still children. Boys should be allowed to put on their socks, tie their shoes, and help their parents with household chores like making a fire in the kitchen or washing dishes. This is what I learned from members of the community here. Even boys who are 4 years old or younger can help with household chores without losing their masculinity. It’s all about education and early exposure to chores.”